Great Again?

The terrorist attacks on Sep. 11, 2001, were the most severe enemy action on United States soil in American history. They precipitated great shows of public patriotism, such as displaying flags on motor vehicles. Also to travel restrictions and inconveniences, and, tragically, to domestic hate crimes against innocent people. Beyond opposing the looming wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, I could not resist making fun of the most foolish parts. I wrote a song to be sung to the tune of “Give My Regards to Broadway,” by George M. Cohan. I was worried some might find it provocative.

If anything, the emotional immaturity of the United States has declined considerably since then. The nastiness of our current political climate leaves me nearly speechless. But it does remind me of my song, which is meant as wry social commentary and satire. So in this election year of 2024, I present it again.

My Car Has More Flags than Your Car

My car has more flags than your car
I’m more American than you
My forefathers fought with Washington
And flocked to World War Two
I’ve got a flag on a sticker,
A button and a lapel pin
My car has more flags than your car
So terrorists can’t win

I pay my taxes early
I donate to every cause
I think the answer to every problem is for
Congress to pass more laws
I can’t see through my rear windshield
It’s covered with a flag
Give me security or give me death
‘Cause fear is such a drag

My car has bigger flags than your car
The biggest one is twelve feet tall
It gets dragged along the fence when
I go to the mall
I want to litter Old Glory through the Land, the skies, the seas
My car has more flags than your car
Even though it’s Japanese